Empty Threats

Sometimes I like to make really elaborate threats to the Freshmen:

"If you girls don't stop chattering, I'm going to seperate you into hard chairs that face the corner and make you read John Grisham novels until your eyes bleed and you beg for mercy, screaming, 'No more football! Please, no more lawyers!'"

Then they stare at me with their perfect, blank eyes and I am forced to summarize, "No, seriously, stop talking."